Visiting the toilet during school

It might seem weird, but I really don't like going to the toilet at school. There are various reasons for my schooltoilet-phobe.

Firstly, I think it is just so awkward how other people can hear you pee. Or even worse, when you're stereopeeing together with a random stranger. This is one of the reasons why I always try to go to the toilet during the lessons, since then there is the smallest chance of meeting someone. 

Even worse is when you are done and there is no toiletpaper. At home you can just scream for help, but school = school, which means screaming for toiletpaper is not the done thing. Instead, you have to text all of your friends for help and hope someone will come and rescue you. 

Secondly, one of the taps on the ground floor is broken. I never remember which one it is, but for one reason or another it seems to always be the one I use. This broken tap means water spatting everywhere. On the mirror, on the floor and unfortunately, if you have opened the tap completely, it even spats on you, making it look like you have just used the shower instead of the toilet. 

During the breaks, (another reason why I prefer using the toilet during the lesson) there are always girls fixing their make-up in front of the mirrors. Apart from the fact that I don't get why they do that - I am really too embarassed to do that while there are other people present. The faces I make whilst putting on make up are the worst - I really hate it, since they block the access to the mirror and they never go away when they see you have to use the sink, till you politely ask them, to which they reply with rolling eyes and you're just like, wow I am sorry for using the sink for what it was actually build for. 

Furthermore, the fact that some girls find it necesarry to take pictures in the toilet?? While you are washing your hands???? 

I mean it is so weird. Why would you take a selfie with your friends in the school toilet? There are so many places in school to take nice pictures, and mirror selfies really are the worst. It is like you just saw yourself in the mirror and thought, wow I am so pretty right now, I should celebrate and show everyone by making a picture. 

Washing your hands while standing next to such a photoshoot is one of the most awkward things. You never know where to look and you just hope they haven't heard you pee. Moreover, there is a leave-us-alone-and-don't-judge-us-cause-we're-cool-atmosphere, which makes you feel very unwelcome.

Solution

It is hard to hold everything till your home, so that's why I think going during the lessons is the only solution and to just accept the fact that this may affect your grades in a negative way (you miss the important material discussed during your stay at the toilet).

When people discuss the test which you just dramatically failed

Maybe the worst thing about this problem is is that it always happens twice: right after the test ánd when the test is handed back to you.

You didn't really feel like studying this weekend, you were glad that for a moment you didn't have to think about school and used your time sleeping, catching up on tv series and mentally preparing yourself for another week of school. You convinced yourself it would all turn out just fine tomorrow: they probably wouldn't ask the most difficult questions in the chapter which you didn't do and you attended all the classes, so some knowledge of the chapter must by chance have entered your brains.

Turns out it didn't.

They díd ask all the difficult stuff which even the smart people didn't know when it was discussed in class and you didn't remember anything of the information they gave you in class. To conclude: you failed the test embarassingly and your only hope is a few of the questions which you actually started but didn't finish because you got stuck somewhere in the end.

Finally the test is done. You try to move on and just be happy you don't have to study for this particular topic anymore and can forget all of it (though there isn't much to forget, since there wasn't much you actually knew). However, your dearest classmates think it is fun to discuss all of the questions, their thoughts while doing them, gotchas which they saw through because they are very smart and no one can fool them, and compare their answers to see who is right. You try to ignore them but similarily fail this too and hear all of their answers, which not in any way sound a little bit the same like yours. The last bit of hope for a not that bad mark has now totally faded away and you hope you still pass the year since this actually was one of the most important chapters.

Two weeks later

You already forgot about this test, when the teacher announces he has graded them. Everyone is happy and like 'yeah so excited, I really want to know my mark,' and you just silently hope the teacher won’t say them out loud because you are willing to accept the lowness of your grade, but not everyone staring at you feeling sorry for you and asking themselves how you ever made it till fifth grade.

As usually, your silent prayer isn’t heard and the teacher reads the marks out loud, starting with the lowest one (yours) and ending with the highest one (your neighbours). Then part two of the discussing starts. While everyone is enjoying their marks and ‘Oh look how many stupid mistakes I made I could just easily have avoided!!!11’ (they all got a nine or higher) you try to look like you don’t care about school or marks and ignore them.

Solution

Well... just studying? 

Having a cold - Part II

Wednesday - phase 3: Slime & mucus 

When arriving at school you see your friends and want to greet them. Sadly, you suddenly realize you aren't able to speak anymore. All that comes out of your mouth is an awkward, whispervoice skgiquehahdweo, because your throat is totally glued shut. Before you are able to speak in a normal way you first have to warm up your vocal chords by coughing a little. It is like a boy's voice breaking, but then ten times worse. This happens everytime you start talking and it is ridiculous. Furthermore you have to blow your nose every ten minutes and since it is awkward to blow your nose in class and you can't leave the classroom six times per hour you have to silently snort all the time, though this is maybe as awkard as blowing your nose.

The following three weeks - phase 4 - Where is my voice?

You keep having troubles with your voice. It slowly gets less, but it takes a long time before it is totally gone.

Relatable?

-OMG yes! This is my life, I have a cold like seven times a year and they are the worst periods in life. --> Yes, they totally are! Keep on reading, because I have thought of some miraculous solutions!

-Uhm no, you are such an exagerator. I mean, I sometimes have a cold too but it is not like that could ever affect my grades. --> I don't think you suffer from the same cold as I am talking about.

Solutions

It is hard to find a real solution, since this is a real disease and not just mentally, however, I found one.

To find a solution we have to take in consideration the main causes, which are a weak immune system and your fellow classmates who infect you with the disease. 

There are several medicines to strengthen your immune system, though I highly doubt their efficacy and think they are just a way for manufacturers to earn more money.

That's why we'll try to find a solution for the second cause, which has to do with your classmates. 

Whenever you sense someone is entering phase one of the cold, evade them. Phase one is the most infectious one and they are now one chunk of bacteria. Don't touch anything they have touched and whenever they coughed near you, try to hold you breath for a minute, so the bacteria in the air can slowly flow away. If it is one of your classmates who you don't really know, this is not hard. If it is one of your close friends, try to explain the situation you're in on whatsapp, and tell him next week you'll be their best friend again, but this week you really cannot deal with him. He will understand and you will stay free from catchy colds. :)

Having a cold - part I

(I cut this article in two parts because I am not able to express myself in 300 words and readers won't even read the article when having a quick glance at it and seeing there is a lot of text. (at least, I wouldn't))

Main causes: Weak immune system, your fellow classmates who infect you with the disease

Summary of the weeks (especially the ones of august/ october / march/ may/ june, but it can actually occur all around the year so don't be surprised if you catch a cold in the middle of summer: that's life):

Sunday - phase 1: Seriously sore throat

It all starts on Sunday, you try to ignore it, but you immediately recognize the pain. It feels like your throat is made of sandpaper and everything you eat is made of sandpaper too, so you end up feeling macabre and like you are going to die. Since all the shops are closed on Sundays, there is no way you're able to get throat pastilles and out of desperation you start your new yoghurt diet, which contains yoghurt, yoghurt and guess what… yoghurt.

Monday - phase 1: Still a seriously sore throat

All your prayers of yesterday were worthless. The sore throat is still not gone. Since there are still no throat pastilles around, you have to go to school with just a bottle of water and a 'take care!'-wish of your mother. At school you hope someone brought the throat pastilles you asked them for on whatsapp, though sadly all your friends 'forgot' them because they were too busy having a great weekend and feeling rapturous while you lay suffering from fatal pains in bed. Furthermore you look terrific, which is acknowledged by your friends, wow, you look tired!, and just then that cute boy passes and sees you and you realize that will probably be the last time he looks at you.

All you want is this day to end, but it is going to take a loooong time, since you are stuck in here up untill the sixth hour.

Tuesday - phase 2: Coughing out loud

You weren't able to sleep, because you were coughing all night long and in the morning you feel more tired than you ever did before. The coughing still goes on, with varying sounds from barking seal to I-smoke-a-lot-and-this-is-the-result. 

When you arrive at school you realize it is tuesday-testday, figuring a Spanish endtest and a Physics SE. You haven't studied well; since this Sunday you were too sick to do anything and you skipped a few questions in the homework (you didn't do anything but the easy questions at the beginning of the chapter). While doing the test you still aren't able to stop coughing and when you try, you almost suffocate, because of the itchy throat. Your classmates + teacher get really distracted and annoyed and while suffering from all the unwanted attention the only thing you can think about is how to stop the coughing instead of how to do these questions and you end up writing down total rubbish. You hope your teacher still likes you after your test and you write down a sorry, I can't help it at the bottom of the test, to apologize for your coughing, your not-studying, your general behaviour in class and furthermore all the things you did wrong in life which could have affected this test.

The There-are-too-many-things-I-still-have-to-do-so-I-start-doing-none-of-them-instead-problem

Main causes: school, lack of discipline

Summary of the weekends:

Saturday - 15:00

It starts already in the weekend, mostly on Saturday, when you take a first look in your diary of next week. You notice your teachers decided to give all tests of different subjects exactly at the same time and are not aware of the fact you have a life outside of school too. Frightened you close it immediately and start doing something else instead. While the day passes you try not to think about how much work you still have to do and try not to feel guilty for not doing anything, by making excuses - I haven't done anything for school, but I did some grocery shopping and cleaned up my room instead!

Sunday - 12:00

You wake up on Sundaymorning and you feel it. It's that feel of today is the day and there is no way to procrastinate anything, since everything is due Monday. You open your diary and cry a little. After that you take a picture and send it to all of your friends so they can feel sorry for you.

Sunday - 17:00 

When you're finally ready to start the work it's already five o'clock and you start to stress out. You will never make it in time! You cry one more time and relax a little, since you cannot work under pressure.

Sunday – 19:00

You have to define your priorities. There is no way you can do all the work, so you have to choose between the different subjects. As a result some of your teachers will hate you for not defining their subject as a priority and you’ll get a bad grade for the test (unless your multitalented and have superpowers, then everything will be OK).

Relatable?

-Yes, this is one of the worst problems in life and unfortunately one of the most common. à Keep on reading, there is hope.

-No, I am a perfect student, I always start doing my homework a week before it’s due in order to keep my Sundays free for playing chess with my dearest family. à Quit reading this blog, you’re wasting your time.

Solution

In order to find the solution we have to take in consideration the main causes; which are school and a lack of discipline. The first cause is unchangeable, so we’ll leave that aside. The lack of discipline is something you should work on, but is very hard. Another option is to go through all the underlined phases more quickly, and you’ll have enough time to finish everything. So instead of stressing out for two hours, you stress out for two minutes, and move on to the next phase. This way you’ll be through your phases in half an hour and you’ll have time to do everything. J